9 to 5 Blahs


I graduated.

I have a 9 to 5.

It’s what I’ve always dreamed of.
I feel like I could be doing so much more with myself.

But I sit at this desk
for so long
staring at this screen
still wanting more.

The money is great. But there’s more to life than that.

I feel like I’m wasting my time here.


To do.

Break the stake, for what’s at stake,

Release yourself from yourself.

To see what you can make.

Sometimes ‘y’.

Monotonous monstrosity, seeing how I’ve got to be part of mediocrity.

Could honestly get a lobotomy cuz that’s not what I want to be.


Is it money that could let this caged bird free?

Is that the key that could let me flee?

Surely!  A lottery!  It’s plain to see,

Could really change a lot for me.

This industry, promissory, pertaining to liability,

Would definitely be cured easily.

Though my quandary, sadly,

Cannot be cured by poetry.


Captain Quirk

There’s a lot to be said about mannerisms.  They can say a lot about a person, If find.  They can be subtle, but the action itself has to come from somewhere.  Is it a quirk?  Is it a habit of some kind?  After some self-analysis, I have found that many of my own mannerisms didn’t come about by my own means.  They were almost “grafted”.  Akin to  a snowball thrown at a brick wall, pieces of people tend to stick to my everyday life.  Whether it’s a frame of reference, a new word in my vocabulary or some sort of small action,  it seems that  a lot of it is not my own creation.

So, in trying to figure out these things, I should define them:

  1. A habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving; an idiosyncrasy.
  2. A gesture or expression that becomes abnormal through exaggeration or repetition

(Credit to a cursory Google search, and Dictionary.com)

So, in the ways we talk or act, we can have some habits that eventually define us.

So, what sort of “mannerisms”?  For example, my laugh has sometimes a bit of a snort to it, and I realized that I hadn’t started that until I met my friend Taylor, which took me a few weeks to realize… but it’s grown into a habit.

I often have a bit of fun with word pronunciations as well, to which I give credit to my cousin Stephen.  For example, walking back home from a frozen yogurt joint, we passed a road called “Oriole”. We happened to be at a point that had some surprise to the conversation, and he looked at the sign and promptly said “Oh-re-oh-lee”. (Oh, really?)

We do this pretty much every time we hang out with various words, and it’s been a running gag for years now.

I’ve also found a love of puns over the past few years, to which I attribute  my friend Danny, as well as my Dad while growing up.  It’s a love of corny jokes, really.

But with all of these,  it’s astounding the culmination of things that just aren’t me individually. But the combination of each of them makes me… me.

I laugh at squirrels running amok,  and enjoy the sweet singing of birds.   A glance at the stars immediately humbles me.  Seeing a genuine smile genuinely makes me happy too.  It’s the little things.  I attribute that to my family, as they always point out the little things.  There’s always a bit of a smile on their faces at something or other, and I feel it’s really shaped the way I look at everything.

It’s difficult to know whether or not this is just “me” or if those things came from other people.  But, aren’t we all just a combination of our surroundings?  Something of a stew, really:  everything just thrown in during different parts of our lives.  There are some of us that come out sour, some of us come out sweet, and some of us may come out all willy-nilly.  But it’s what we’ve got… it’s really “us”, whether we like it or not.

So far I’m pleased with the “me stew” I’ve got simmering.